I personally was bullied on and off for 9 years. It was pretty horrible as expected and it made me attempt to take my own life! The constant fear of getting called things or physically abused. I could name the person who tortured me but it wouldn’t be fair on him. Taking the higher ground for once and pitying someone who clearly had nothing better to do that terrorise me.
I personally feel had I been able to focus solely on my gcses without this horrid distraction, I could have got better grades. Do I blame the bullies for the grades I got? No, but I do blame them for not allowing me to just crack on with them.
I will never forget 23rd January 2010. The morning of my first Geography exam in year 10. The person came into my form room along with 3 others, and verbally abused me to the point of tears. How the hell I managed to go into an exam room and get a B in an exam when I was a mess, god only knows but to believe that those people got satisfaction for the state I was in is nothing but cruel. How people can do that to anyone, astonishes me. They clearly have no remorse to the present day.
Why did I get bullied is something I constantly asked myself. Because I had glasses? Because I was too sensitive? Because I was an easy target? Because I didn’t defend myself? Plus many more questions I wanted to know the answers to. To be followed home from school one day by one of them and to be held to the ground as someone tried to break my ankle in some childish wrestling move, is something I shall never ever forget. What made it worse was that the head boy of the school and a fellow prefect, both who were my friends as well as the bully’s friend at the time. Just looked on and did nothing. The kid who was meant to lead by example both in and out of school just watched! Why?! Was he scared or was he just not wanting to get involved and do the right thing? It’s human’s duty to do what’s right and jump in whilst someone’s clearly struggling. Maybe not then!
Memories like that will never ever fade or go away. Mentally scared for life is how I feel. It makes me feel better to speak about it to be honest as it gets the message out that bullies can ruin lives.
I hope those bullies see this and understand how messed up I was made to feel. To be ridiculed and made to feel utterly useless. People who simply looked on or did nothing are just as bad in my view as to be a human to me means to stand up for what’s morally right.
So until the next entry,