Dealing with Insecurities

Most people have insecurities of sorts whether that be trust, confidence issues, lack of confidence of how they look, over thinking or even worrying how people view them. In this post, I will discuss my 2 biggest insecurities, how I try and cope with them and also offer a few ways to deal with your own insecurities. By all means, I’m no expert, but I do believe in sharing coping mechanisms in the hope it may help just one person.

When writing this, I began to realise that I have so many insecurities in life, more than I personally ever imagined. I also hope that by writing this, I will learn more about myself as such and maybe begin to really listen to my own advice!!

I suppose my 2 biggest insecurities are Trust, whether that be trusting friends, family and potential partners that they actually like me, or it being trusting people actually are giving me good advice or help when I approach them for support and Self Confidence, as I struggle to accept praise from people in all areas of life. As silly as it sounds but even when I play Crown Green Bowling and someone says “good bowl/wood Ben”, I struggle to cope with it and it usually puts me off my game!

So Trust. Why is this an issue for me? I look back at incidents when I’ve trusted people and they’ve let me down, and it destroys me. Family wise, I can’t recall a major occasion when they have broken my trust other than when I may have told sister something and she spoke to parents because potentially I could have been putting myself at risk, so I suppose that’s a positive break of trust, if they’re such thing as that! In terms of friendships, naturally friends break each other’s trust over the years and I would be here til tomorrow speaking about that but now I have a collective of maybe 6 people who I know I can trust with anything and everything! Finally in terms of partners, sadly this one scars me and has an impact on how I view things these days. One person in particular, destroyed my trust in girls and it sadly still scares me to this day. I never think I’m good enough for someone, despite them saying I am! This is simply something I need to get over!

Onto self confidence. As those close to me will know, this is something I’ve struggled with all my life and is part of the reason why I have suffered so badly with mental health. I at times lack confidence at how I look, how I sound due to my lisp, how I come across to people I don’t know, how my work, both paid and uni work, is received and even how I come across to friends as I’m arguably naive and too nice for my own good to friends and others I’m involved with! Am I anywhere near as bad as I once was? No, I’m in a better place than I’ve probably ever been, but that’s not the issue. The issue is how I will always struggle with something until I truly have achieved my goals!

How can you and I improve ourselves in dealing with insecurities?

1, Believe in yourself a little. We are all beautiful human beings and have so much to offer the world. It’s simply down to you and I to utilise our strengths and not worry about our weaknesses.

2, Give people a chance and don’t have preconceptions about how people view you!

3, Drop the guard a little even though you may be scared to, the potential positives are endless and could work. If the worst happens, surround yourself with your positive social network and no doubt you will be back on your feet in no time!!

A longer post for once so Thankyou for getting through it!:)

Until Next Time,

Ben