Starting University

So even though I’m writing this far in advance, by the time this post goes up, I will be 48 hours away from getting a bus to go uni for the first time! A daunting process no doubt but so exciting to be going to start a life’s dream! All students across the country starting uni, will more than likely be incredibly nervous, but it’s so natural for us all! I’m lucky as I’m going to a reputable university in my home town, so some of the nerves of moving to an unfamiliar place, has gone but for someone who hated post 16 Education due to my anxiety and issues, it’s a scary thing for me to start.

What’s Given Me The Confidence To Do This?

For so many students around the UK at this time, it’s an incredibly nerve racking period and so many people lack the confidence to go away to uni. It’s a period of change and uncertainty as so many students leave home to in most cases go somewhere they know no-one. I look at how my sister did when she moved away and it inspires me! Granted she only moved an hour away, but for her, it was massive. She moved to a big city at one of the best universities in the country for her subject and to say she thrived is an understatement! Seeing how she did gives me the confidence to go to uni and stick at it through the tough times! I actually owe so much to her because there’s no way I would be here right now about to start uni, if she didn’t come with me to the doctors to chase my diagnosis of Autism. I’ve given myself the confidence too after grafting to achieve my opportunity and with hard work and a support system in place, my confidence will continue to grow!:)

What to do if you’re struggling

Get support from uni and your peers. Other students may have been just as nervous as you on their first day and so many universities offer a buddy system for first years. My uni offer one and although I’m not using it, it’s nice to know it’s there! Uni life may not be for you at first, but every person I know who is there now or has been to uni, have told me to enjoy it and savour every moment! Even the ones you can’t really remember due to the social life……….

I can’t preach I know what it feels like because I don’t and yes I’m scared but it’s going to be worth it! So I set a challenge to any student who reads this and they have doubts about how they will cope at uni, message me in 6 months and tell me how you got on and how well you’re doing!

I’m now regularly getting 200-250 views per post and I hope in time this will grow and I can support not only autistic students but people who suffer from Autism in general or even those who’s family member may suffer from it!

Thankyou as always……

Ben!:)

Trust Your Gut or Going Off The Facts

So the aged old problem of whether or not to trust your gut or wait until facts are there? 90% of the time I trust my gut, whether that be the correct decision or not is always open to interpretation but is trusting your gut simply a sense of being scared and wanting to protect yourself from the potential consequences?

I look at events that have happened of late and the reality is, when I’ve trusted my gut, I’ve potentially alienated myself and offended people but at the same time I’ve realised a lot and potentially protected myself from me!

Now even when refereeing football, if I have a gut feeling on whether or not it’s a foul, I usually go with it and blow for it. Granted, you’re meant to be certain of any decision you give, but every referee if they’re honest, they will say that with they are NEVER 100% certain with every decision. You may be thinking how is this relevant to Autism and the post topic, but indirectly it really is.

I look at real life situations which have occurred to me recently and I question whether or not my gut decision was correct, but luckily due to the incredible support network I have in place, I have no doubt in my mind, the decisions I made are the best in the long run for me.

So what am I really getting at in this post? I suppose it’s quite simple. Follow your gut if you feel so strong about a scenario and make sure you back yourself along the way. Every decision you take in life has potential consequences in reality and nothing is truly a safe option or decision. My gut feeling was to not pursue traditional uni, but I look the chance and the reality is, it was an amazing chance.

For every gut decision, there needs to be some sort of risk but risks are the fun and scary parts of life!:)

So until next time, Thankyou as always,

Ben

Learning From Mistakes

As the saying goes, “it’s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them”. I ask the question, are mistakes the best lessons in life? Or are they simply a judgment of error?

Now you can of course learn from many mistakes, but what if those mistakes are not able to be corrected? We all make mistakes, me more than most but it’s how we react to those mistakes, which creates our character. Obviously some mistakes are worse than others! For example a mistake on a test is not going to do any damage, where as a mistake when driving could easily do that.

Now I look back on some of the major mistakes and minor mistakes which have occurred throughout my life and think about if I really learnt from them and whether I’m happy that those mistakes were made.

The first one which springs to mind is rather comical! When playing rugby as a child for Shrewsbury, I made a rather embarrassing one which personally I will never forget! As people know, you can only score a try if you touch the ball down after the try line, yea shame my 10 year old self forgot that and I touched the ball down on the 5 metre line! Safe to say, we didn’t score a try in the play after it!πŸ˜‚ Not a big mistake but I certainly learnt going forward!!:)

Next mistake I’m going to touch on is when I’ve made mistakes on how I’ve judged people wrongly. Growing up, I judged people or maybe avoided people who were different to myself, due to my friendship being the stereotypical set of boys. Not saying that was a bad thing at all, but it was on reflection limiting to my social development. I also look at how even in the present day, I had a first impression of someone which was far from the person that they actually are. About 4 years ago, I met someone who if I saw them in the street, I would have probably crossed the road, but having got to know them since that day, they are genuinely the most friendly and kind person you could meet and although I didn’t let my original judgment tarnish anything, I certainly regret having that first impression of the person!

My final mistake which I would say I’ve learnt from, is with money! To put it short, I am useless with money! Burns a hole in my wallet as suchπŸ˜‚ How many things have I bought which in reflection I really shouldn’t have? Can count a few pairs of ridiculously expensive running shoes on that list along with so many times I’d buy bottled water! Hundreds of pounds I’ve spent on something I could get out of tap. Also I’ve made stupid purchases just because I wanted something when I actually didn’t need it! This brings into debate whether you can justify buying something you only want? Where as you could save money for something you actually need but don’t have patience to save!

Granted, this post was slightly different to my usual posts and slightly off piste to my predominant focus of my life and how I deal with my autism but what I’m really trying to say, is that we all make mistakes and some times we can laugh and look back at them and other times we can truly learn from them for the better!

Until Next Time,

Ben

The Real Ben Tipton

I’m never one to ever speak about myself in 3rd person, in fact I think it’s a little strange but for this post, I think it’s time I addressed a few things. So who is Ben Tipton?

I don’t necessarily know whether the way I’m approaching this is correct, but hey ho, I’m learning still as a blogger and have a unique style. As quirky as it is, I’ve decided to write a description using each letter of my name to start each line. Suppose my writing of this blog is a way I can get my feelings down on paper and explain the fragility’s I have due to my condition. Being open and honest, although scary is something I feel I need to do:) It’s a way I express myself creatively as I can’t do any hands on creative things such as arts and crafts. So here goes:

B- Behind the confident exterior is a truly fragile and sensitive sole

E- Excelling at things is something I rarely do. I’d like to think I’m half decent at most things but no specialist area

N- Nobody truly understands me. A few people understand 90% of me, but there’s always 10% of me which is closed and not even family understand it

T- Tall 6ft 3, bloke with a huge heart. I care too much most of the time which often leads me to getting myself hurt

I- Individual. I believe there is no one else like me in the world. I’m different and at times too different

P- Positively weird. Enough said!πŸ˜‚

T- Tries too hard to get people to like me. I always feel like I’m the one who should make the effort because I’m scared I’m not enough for anyone

O- Outsider at school. Yes I had friends at school, but I felt different and in my mind I was always an outsider and felt so different

N- Now you know a bit more about me and why I’m slightly weird and different

I hope this post goes down okay and the format of it works! The future for me is bright I hope and pray and one day in 5 years I will look back on these posts and I really hope I smile at how good my life is when I’m working my dream job.

Until Next Time.

Ben:)