Keeping Going When You Don’t Want To

So as the title says, sometimes in life you have to keep going and pushing yourself when you don’t want to. It’s the standard saying of “fight or flight”. Now how many times have you wanted to run away and give something up because it causes you worries or challenges? Honestly, I face it most days myself. Simple issue of going to uni when I’m having regular panic attacks, is a huge challenge. Some people will know but last week I ended up having to go to A and E due to having a panic attack and I was sitting there and truly contemplating leaving uni already. I’ve wanted this degree since I was 15/16, but the challenge it’s given me mentally makes me want to run.

The truth of the matter is, I can’t preach and go on and on and on about wanting to be a teacher, but run away just when I struggle with my mental health. I’m desperate to be a success so it’s a large amount of perseverance and courage to do it.

This week at uni has been to say the least, challenging. Monday was back in lectures which were daunting as I hadn’t been in the class room for 10 days so in my mind, I was out of a routine so it wasn’t enjoyable in all honesty, despite the lectures being positive and enjoyable topics. Tuesday was very hard. I had a “micro teach” small 5-10 minute teach of a French lesson to 10 fellow students. Now that doesn’t seem too hard but I always worry people are judging me and how I’m coming across, so it was hard mentally and with regards to anxiety. Had a small wobble in the morning, but that was to be expected! Finally, placement started on Thursday. Brilliant school and school mantra but it felt strange. Felt like I was being a traitor to HJS where I’d had 2 brilliant years at. The 2 mentors are brilliant and seem so supportive at the new placement school, and it’s clear that I will get all the help in the world and they will give me the best chances of succeeding! Pretty perfect then!:)

So there’s going to be hard times ahead, I’m no fool, but the good thing is that these days, I don’t run away from tough times, I fight them and achieve! Through ups and downs, it’s about perseverance and self belief that you will be a success. I’m no motivational speaker or preacher, but I’ve learnt that a positive attitude will lead to success in life!:)

Thankyou as always for reading,

Ben:)