Hidden Battles

So I’ve been contemplating whether or not to do this post for a long while, but I think it’s relevant so here goes.

This post is going to be solely on the hidden battles which people go through, whether that be from mental health, eating disorders to a range of other illnesses. There is something which I went through from roughly 12/13 years old to 21/22 years old. I suffered from something called Night Eating Disorder (NES). Now this may seem a funny way of effectively saying, binge eating or being a pig, but during the first time of having depression, I comfort ate over night every night. Sometimes to the point of having 8-10 chocolate bars over night.

Now this is something which no one really knows I ever had, only really coming clean to certain people in recent months. An ex used to mention I was a “secret eater”, but I never ever felt the confidence to tell her. Now this was no fault of her own, but my mind made me feel guilt. Sadly having this for so long has basically destroyed my teeth which is why I now have major issues with them.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is, that people on the outside may seem perfectly okay and that they are facing no battles or issues. Granted I put on considerable weight during this period, but until late 2016, no one ever questioned my weight and neither did I.

Everyone has battles in life and so many people are afraid to get help, reach out and admit they’re struggling. Support needs to advertised more and give people the true belief that if they try and get help, it will be available and ultimately be available quickly. On average the waiting list for mental health support, is 8-12 months at present, something of which I have been on since August this myself. I’ve had to fight urges to quit uni, to give up on myself and at times not bother with life. Granted there’s so much positivity in my life at present, but just because that is the case for myself and so many, that didn’t necessarily mean, I was okay. Inside, I felt like I was drowning constantly and for around 4 months, I felt dizzy constantly, only ending of late.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is, is that we all need to be more aware of the fact so many people battle with issues of all sorts, but not many people will be aware of it. This issue once again goes back to where society is failing us all, in terms of how little confidence society gives us, that we will be supported if we admit our struggles.

Thankyou for reading as always,

Ben